March Madness Manic Moodday
Nothing like a Spring fantasy to give your heart wings,
to put a spring in your step and set your mind flying!
Springtime awakens the hearts and souls of Poets
and lovers and romantics everywhere. Even in La La Land!
But it coincides with March Madness, the NCAA College
Division 1 men’s basketball tournament in which 68 teams
compete until the Final Four for the national championship.
But I don’t know anything about college basketball, although
I used to take Dad to UCLA games because he had played ball
at Kansas and taught teachers how to teach ESL at UCLA.
But most of us could not play college sports—we are Poets!
So, as they are changing rules to let men compete against women,
we're changing the rules to let poets play against basketballers,
and we might as well go large or go home and take on the Pros!
And we get to use our secret weapons and super powers,
for the pen is mightier than the sword!
So, the All Star Poets team lineup faces off against pro legends.
First there is the poetry King, Kingfisher, facing off against
Wilt Chamberlain. Wilt the Stilt is famous not only for scoring
thousands of points on the court, but also for scoring thousands
of times in the bedroom. But romantic poet Kingfisher is the king of
romantic poetry, and once he recites some love verses, Wilt slinks
off in embarrassment to console himself at a “Dunkin’ Donuts.”
Next up is a face off between Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
and GT “Good Trouble” (or is it “Good Times”),
the Poetry King of humor. GT recites verses so funny
that Kareem doubles over in laughter, allowing GT
to slam dunk with a 48 inch jump shot a la Spud Webb.
Next up Poet “Jackie C” faces off against Le Brawny
“King James,” who laughs so hard at the sight of the
petite poet that he falls on the floor. He demands a
second chance, so JC changes tactics and speaks so
profoundly beautiful a love poem that Brawny J
sinks crying to the floor, overcome with emotion
while the poet tosses in a three pointer from mid court.
Shaquille O’Neal might seem invincible with his massive
size and physical advantages, but Thelma the Poetry Queen
is serious competition for the big guy. For one thing, her
husband was a coach as well as a math teacher, so she knows
all the angles and how to calculate the odds. Her Shaq attack
of beautiful verses causes O’Neal to roll away like a wheel.
Kobe may be in basketball heaven, but he is one of the
Immortals, so of course the Mamba Man can stage a comeback.
But so can CaLokie the Poet and you know it! And he shows it!
He recites his poem, “An Eye for an Eye Makes the Whole World Blind,”
and sure enough it works and makes Kobie temporarily blind,
so Cal runs circles around Ko and sinks a dozen three pointers.
Then there’s Larry Bird, the self-described “Hick from French Lick.”
Thus proving he’s not only a great basketball player but also
a pretty good poet for an athlete. So, who can beat the Bird Bard?
Well, if he’s gonna cheat by recitin’ with white lightnin’, then Poets
gonna cheat by triple teaming him. So the two Beverly Hills join up
with Lori for glory and sing a sound in a round to surround
Larry the Legend until he’s too dizzy to jump or shoot. Poetry wins again!
But who can possibly shoot down “Air” Jordan, the Raging Bull?
It would have to be double teaming by “Jumpin’ Josh” combined
with Rad Radomir, the “Miracle Man.” These virtuosi of the verbal
make words take flight and fly high in the sky even beyond the reach
of MJ “Rare Air,” “It’s gotta be the shoes!” Another win for the Poets!
But the Ballers have unleashed their secret weapons, Pavel Podkolzin,
the tallest player in the league, their secret weapon from Russia.
But he does not come from Russia with love! He seems to be sent
as a special envoy from Stalin, I mean Putin. Of this there's no dis-Putin!
He is joined by Yao Ming from Beijing, another Commie sent from Xi Jin Ping!
They stand athwart the hoop and block the goal so the Poets can score no more.
But wait! Something's happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear.
There's a boxer run out on the court wearing nothing but his boxer shorts,
but he's not here to play basketball--he's here to help the Poets!
It's Muhammad Ali, the Greatest, who also is a poet. He recites:
"Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee,
the hands can't hit what the eyes can't see!"
And he's joined by another boxer/poet, Mike Tyson, the haiku poet, who declaims:
everybody has a plan
until you get punched
in the mouth
Together the boxer poets put their words into action until the big men retreat
from the goal, allowing the Poets team to continue shooting their words in.
But no one can stand beside Magic Johnson unmasked without holding their breath,
so how can poets defeat him without speaking? Hmmm.
This sounds like a job for a magical poetry circle.
So, all of the afore named Poets form a circle around Magic and chant poetry at him.
Even the Magic Man cannot resist the magical poetic words, and
he cannot jump over them or break on through to the other side,
so Magic is overthrown, and the Poets win this contest
just in time for National Poetry Month and the NBA playoffs can wait until Summer.
But that's another poem.